Signal boost, please?

Across the board, job agencies and advice columnists and success stories all cite networking. Online, in-person, wherever and however.

And I always stare at the words, and feel sick to my stomach, because how the hell am I supposed to network when nobody ever talks about anything and there's no place to do it? There's rarely a guidebook to the process, or a conversation to join, never anything that rewards participation and production of content or genuine friendship - nothing. And if there is, nobody's shown it to me or talked to me about it.

Please, please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE, if anyone knows of anyone else living in the greater New York City area, PLEASE TELL ME. At this point I need all the help I can get, and fandom seems to be a better place to get it than a lot of others I can think of.

Got my routine.

I'm feeling more stable than I was this afternoon - not much better, but more stable. More on top of my emotions with intellectual responses. And I'm too wiped out to consider doing much of anything harmful, anyway. I'm not even back up to where I'd be able to enjoy ice cream.

Hopefully with therapy tomorrow I'll get this sorted out. I'm not used to getting wiped out like this - the sort of frustration and depression that comes from something I can't get into my head at all and gets less and less clear the more I try to figure it out. Networking isn't something that's at all intuitive for me, in person or online. And after a certain point, I don't know how to ask for what I need anymore, and collapse in on myself and end up useless for the rest of the day.