hannah

I made a mistake regarding patient charts at work - nothing life-threatening or genuinely harmful, simply highly improper procedure that created twice the work for myself and the practice instead of half the work that would've come from doing it right the first time. When asked about it, I said I could provide reasons and excuses and it didn't matter, I'd done the thing and would fix it.

Besides the lessons of "write everything down at least twice" and "most mistakes can be fixed", the main takeaway is the person who spoke to me about it assumed I was Gen Z and was a little surprised when I said I was a Millennial. Partly that's the nature of the mistake, and I think another part's simply how I look. Granted, he's nearly twice my age so anyone more than 20 years his junior is "young" by that standard. Even so, I'm going to take the skin care compliment.

I'll be working this week, and possibly in the foreseeable future as well. It's hard to say - the woman I'm sitting in for needed emergency surgery to have her gallbladder removed, and organ removal always constitutes a careful recovery period.

I don't know how long I want to do this. Full-time, at least. It's the gnawing nighttime feeling and the looming mornings that are getting to me more than lost afternoons at the gym and visits to farmers' markets. Having less time to get my daily living activities finished so I can get writing done in the evening. I'm sure there's a knack to it I can pick up with practice. Breaking the weights out for some evening workouts is something I'm out of practice doing, but I'm getting back into easily enough. I can't drop and do twenty pushups straight, and I'm still capable of a few with good form, so I'll hitch myself back to that goal, among others. Something achievable.

Thinking it'd look more professional, I went with a messenger bag instead of a backpack today. As professional as it may have looked, I'm going to go back to the backpack. So much easier for so many things on so many levels, not the least of which is being able to ride a bike. Yes, I know bike messengers do it all the time. No, I'm not a professional bike messenger, and I'm unwilling to try. Especially if I'm already wearing a nice dress.

There wasn't much time to read at work, mostly because I'd been given an actual task to do: sorting through patient folders and setting aside old records to discard. Not as much fun as it'd have been if I'd had an MP3 player with me, and still satisfying to see the piles start to rise, and space in the drawers start to emerge. Where there's space in a drawer, there's objects to be discovered, and found my second office perk. A stain remover stick's not much, but it's still something I could take home with me. The first thing is a large can of cold brew coffee sitting in my fridge, waiting for a morning I need a jolt beyond all meaning.

Ending the month with good news: I've got a new gig. It's full-time and starts on a week where I'll have Friday off, so it'll be an easy adjustment and a decent way to test out if I'm cut for it long-term. Or even medium-term, into the next couple of weeks until the usual receptionist gets back.

I'll be doing scheduling, some emails, some phone calls. Front desk work on the Upper East Side. It'll be easy to get there, and it'll be done indoors and sitting down. I don't think it's going to be all that relaxing and I'm going to have to go back to doing workouts at night in my apartment instead of at the gym for the duration. But it's just for a little while, to see if it's a good fit.

I received what I'm going to take as a fine compliment today: someone I'd met all of four hours earlier said I sounded like I wrote professionally for magazines and other publications, simply from how I talked.

I've decided it's up there with multiple people - completely independently, several years apart, none of them knowing each other - telling me I speak in real life the way I talk online.

Yesterday was largely a smoothly running operation. Once things got set up, it was easy to tell people to feed the ballot into the scanner until the machine caught it and to wait a moment for the confirmation screen, and being told to wait a moment as part of the general instructions helped people do so. There was a moment someone didn't wait, didn't see he'd marked his ballot badly enough it couldn't be read, and he was thankfully barely out the door for us to get him and tell him to fill out another one.

There was another moment someone used a red privacy sheet instead of a black one, which had us worried for a moment before we found out the only major difference in the sheets is the color and any ballot inside them's good to be accepted. A few affidavit ballots got spat out, and so did some with extra marks. Sometimes a ballot needed to be fed in from the other end to get accepted by the machine, and it never mattered which side faced up.

Setting up the machine was easy, except for the part where someone needed to come and troubleshoot one of them, leaving us to open about 15 minutes behind schedule. It didn't cause a backlog or an issue, and all in all, we serviced just over 1300 people - about the same as the election last November. There were more babies and animals this time, and about the same number of children, but beyond that, the adults of all ages blurred together after a while so I can't speak to the represented demographics. Just that a little over 1300 ballots were processed by all the machines, with people showing up early and still coming in at 8:59PM.

Closing the machine was trickier because while all the steps were direct and granular, there were still moments I wanted to double check a part of the process with someone, and with everyone working on something, nobody could say "I'll be with you in two minutes, hold tight until then," which didn't help. But we got it done, and while we were out a little later than in November, with the sunlight having lasted longer and the day itself being much less stressful, it evened out.

One amusing moment came when someone tried to juggle a paper takeout bag, an iced coffee in a plastic cup, and a ballot, and I told him to put the coffee down onto the floor. Which he did. Something in how I told him to do so had one of the other poll workers laughing throughout the day.

Another amusing moment came in the last fifteen minutes of the day. Someone wanted them to work faster and I said we could glare. They looked away and said sure, and when they looked back, they jumped and cried out - because when they'd looked away, I'd pulled out a hard stare to demonstrate the kind of glaring I was talking about. I broke into laughter and they did, too, but man, what a moment to have.

One other poll worker was reading the Robert Caro books on Lyndon Johnson, which had us talking about systems of power, whether power corrupts or reveals, good research methods, and hypothetical Caro-level biographies we'd like to read. One person said Sacajawea and the LBJ reader said Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord. I told him I'd want to read one on Tom Cruise, which, given it's a theoretical Caro-level biography, would talk about things like the history of cults and the rise and fall of various aspects of the American film industry to give full context the way Caro's LBJ books talks about the daily life of pre-electricity rural Texas and his Robert Moses book talks about the geology of Long Island to help the readers understand where those men were really coming from.

We also speculated on whether someone would get a 51% plurality and secure a spot directly from the ballot box. We chatted about market tonics and sourdough starters and the terroir of wheat. On occasion, one of the voters was upset about the concept of ranked choice voting, and sometimes they voted for one candidate instead of ranking anything and at least one person cast a blank ballot as a political statement. After twelve hours, I stopped saying people could take pens and stickers and simply told them to take pens and stickers. I ate lunch and dinner in a nearby park and otherwise spent most of the unpleasantly hot day in an air-conditioned building.

Overall, while parts of it could've gone better, I had a good enough time I think I'll probably be back in another few months.

Despite the stress and a small number of concerning moments, I don't regret working the polls today. Partly because I didn't have to be online, largely because I was in an air-conditioned room most of the day.

I got up at 3:15AM and I got back to my apartment at about 10:30. I'm not sure how easy sleep's going to come tonight, which means I'm really very thankful I called everything off tomorrow.

With Escapade panels going live this Solstice, it gives me room to plan about planning - I've made sure I don't have anything scheduled for this coming Wednesday, for example, so I expect that's when most of it's going to be happening. I'm hosting the Andor panel, so I'll start going through a few Tumblr and Dreamwidth accounts for meta posts, collecting conversation starters, and ask for help making slides if need be.

Much as I'm not looking forward to Tuesday, I'm very much looking forward to Tuesday night and having survived it. Hopefully it'll only be a long day in terms of hours.

Of late, I've tried to derive some entertainment value of sitting and waiting for people to stop talking so I don't interrupt them because that's about the only way to get through it with any composure. There's people I've met who can go for long minutes without giving me any indications they want me to talk. I'm tempted to see if raising my hand does anything, or getting up and moving.

I know I could theoretically interrupt them, but every person who has this trait would have to be yelled at for them to hear me talking. Though now I'm also tempted to try to just start talking in a normal volume, ignoring everything they're saying, just to see that reaction.

In trying to find a new pair of closed-toed sandals that use a buckle instead of Velcro, I'm learning that's basically a product no longer being made. I'm also learning shoe websites don't like people searching for things like closed-toed, or the clasp mechanism. Sometimes what I want is classified as a sandal, sometimes a shoe. And this isn't even getting into considering things like heel height, and heel narrowness.

It's especially demoralizing to find there's very little made in the way of women's shoes with buckles these days. Something nice to wear to work and meeting up with friends that helps me feel like I'm a grown-up and costs less than $400 doesn't seem like it should be giving me such a headache, but then, it's shoe shopping. Nothing's at all pleasant about that. These seem promising, and I may risk buying sight unseen to avoid going into a physical shoe store.