I've been go.

My therapy appointment's usually at 10:10, and I like to be there around 10:00 if I can manage, and this morning I somehow woke up and got out of bed at 9:35. I didn't realize this until I turned on my computer, saw the time, found out my alarm clock wasn't working, and knew I didn't have time to panic. No time for breakfast, no time for coffee, no time to panic. I explained to my therapist I didn't have time to worry about my socks, my shirt, or my pants, and couldn't afford to dally and select them; I just had to get them on and get out the door.

She drew the comparison to how I write with how I got out the door this morning - just get the words out and worry about them later. It's very easy to worry if I'm overusing phrases or being heavy-handed, and I know it's good to have those worries on my mind, just not when I'm trying to get something together for me to be able to worry about.

Since my parents are out of the country and I'm taking this as a little vacation from the job hunt, writing is basically my major activity during the days. I've only been at this since Wednesday, when I sent off one last batch of cover letters and left the hunt on hold until March. It's been extremely relaxing to say the least. That worry's still in the back of my mind, and I still want a job to fill my days with something. I do better with structure, and I told her I've even filled in "visit museum" in my appointment book just to remind myself to get out and do something besides go to the gym. Therapy is about the only appointment I have right now, which makes it even more important for me to get to it. She likes to tell me it's my time, and that's why I value it so much. Even when we're not discussing anything deep, it's good for me to be there to talk.