hannah

I've now finished the second season of Friday Night Lights and I'm both eager to begin on the next and pleased I waited a while to come around to watching it - I wouldn't have enjoyed or appreciated it nearly as much if I'd tried it another time, not even all that long ago. It's something helpful and satisfying for where I am now, for so many reasons. The large scale news, the small scale news, the personal family concerns.

I keep watching it and looking at it, and I keep thinking that there's a wonderful sense of precise geography. It's true there's not much in the way of wildlife, and I can't feel the climate through my computer screen, and there's still a lot of one small corner of Texas to be seen. I've seen faceless image collections and gifsets pass through Tumblr, and I know there were faceless icon challenges back in the day, and watching this show makes me think there's probably enough footage for a faceless vid. Something with the fields and the clouds and the stadium lights, the oil wells and the horizon lines. Something with all the players on the fields and the massive crowds in the stands without any one person carrying the focus. I'm sure I've seen such vids around, maybe at a con's vidshow, but I can't remember anything specific, and it's not the most precise keyword to use to search.

I'm still going to think about it, though. And because I listened to the soundtrack recently, and because the song fits the human melodrama of the show as well, it'll probably be to Live That Way Forever for a good while.

My phone's inability to hold a decent charge is starting to grate on me. I don't use it for a whole lot of things or for many minutes throughout a given day, and based on the stats provided by said phone, the things that I use it for the most - the phone function itself for calls, the CitiBike app, and the home and lock screen - are fairly baffling that they're taking up the most energy. I can't claim to understand the details of the technology involved, but I can claim to be confused that using this phone as a phone is a major drain.

I'm not replacing it, though, not unless I can get the exact same model in the exact same color. I'm holding out until I've got no choice in the matter. Hopefully by then, technology's going to have advanced to the point I can replace the battery myself.

It's now been suggested to me that, like job applications, I cast a much wider net in terms of sending out novel queries and pitches. The logic's fairly sound, and I can't recall if there's any specific advice or industry information I've gotten to have me disregard it out of hand. I've heard that it's good to tailor queries to specific agents, but in terms of not sending out plenty of queries, I'm drawing a blank. So maybe there's something to it. To doing something, at least.

In the absence of going anywhere, whether to gigs or the movies or out with friends, it's as good a use of my time as any I can think of.

Picking up a new fandom used to mean picking up a new icon. It turns out I already had one. I'd thought it was nice looking and atmospheric with no knowledge whatsoever about the character in it, and to no one's surprise, I managed to pick out my favorite without even trying.

Going from MASH to Top Gun to Friday Night Lights is something where I could easily pull out a through-line beyond that it's a trio of ensemble casts working within and against the rigid structures they're living in, whether or not it's by choice. Something about maintaining a sense of self and self-worth both externally and internally, but I'm only about halfway through the first season. I know that it ends well, but not how it ends, or how it gets there, and I'm enjoying the process quite a bit.

There's no word for the feeling of watching something and being hit with the thought, "So that's where that icon comes from!" Sometimes it's reading and getting to a quote, sometimes it's a fraction of a moment caught up in a 100x100 square. But since the experience isn't unique, simply highly specific, I might a well just call it "fandom."

Reminding myself I want what's on the objects more than I want the objects themselves, I'm in the process of ripping my Fringe complete series box set so I can get around to watching it. I did the same for Friday Night Lights already, and I'm trying to tell myself I shouldn't keep the sets around even if I fall in love with the shows. It was great I was able to snag them so affordably. And I don't need them.

If there were still in-person fandom conventions, I'd bring them to a swap table or offer them up for a raffle, but we don't have such things anymore - at least not anywhere it's practical for me to travel to right now. It's a shame, because that kind of swap table mentality is one of the best for getting rid of stuff. How it's going to be picked up and taken home, and you don't have to believe anything else.

The Museum of the Moving Image's recent Tom Cruise retrospective ended this afternoon, with a grand total of twenty-two different movies being screened at least once, with some playing twice. I'd decided I'd see everything at least once - I didn't need to sit through the theatrical cuts of The Outsiders or Legend a second time - and managed it with very little trouble and fuss. Mostly just what's inherent in the subways, like lines being down for a weekend and not finding out until I'm in the station and had to find an alternate route that, thankfully, still took me to a station within six blocks of the museum.

It was like going to summer camp, honestly. A regular thing to keep me busy in the long, hot days. Something to look forward to. Shared experiences with voices that gradually grew more and more familiar and faces I came to recognize. And now that it's over, we've gone our separate ways. We might bump into each other again - as dense a city as it is, it's not huge, and the community of repertory movie screening enthusiasts is small enough it's more than likely to happen eventually. Even if we don't, it was fun while it lasted and I'll look back on it fondly.

None of the movies were a chore. All of them were a pleasure to see on the screen, some more than others - for example, Eyes Wide Shut is something I appreciate more than I enjoy. Plenty of them were overwhelming in the best ways, whether it was the immense, immersive sound or the rich colors of the film prints or simply letting myself get taken away for a little while in a really good story. It was just as much about having the experience of the big screen viewing as it was the movies themselves - not quite a compulsion, not exactly a fixation. Hearts that are true, as Dave Barry described them, and a line in the essay kept echoing throughout this summer: "If you ask her why, it shows you could never understand."

All right, that one and another: "And the hell with what people say." Tom Cruise is a good actor, a sharp producer, someone I can personally say has a lovely smile, and he doesn't need anyone defending him. At least, not in the context of internet snark, cheap jokes, flippant comments. He's not my friend. He's someone I'm glad to share the planet with for a little while because his art's good, and I find it inspiring and meaningful. I don't need more than that.

While I don't need more than that, sharing it for a little while made for a wonderful time.

Worth mentioning are:

This one guy who brought up Alan Moore's Superman work and wasn't prepared for me to bring up Top Ten and Tom Strong,

That same guy who argued that after a long week at work you'd want to unwind and see some light fair and as such might not go see a Tarkovsky or 8 1/2 and wasn't prepared for me to say I'd recently seen 8 1/2 and found it a buoyant and uplifting piece on the creative spirit,

This one guy who agreed Streets of Fire is a movie that needs to be seen at night,

This one couple who hung back a few minutes to talk about how Jerry Maguire picks up where other romcoms leave off and how these days there aren't enough movies in the "people trying to become better" and "good people trying not to be lonely" genres,

This one projectionist who answered a couple questions I had about who owns individual prints and lends them out for screenings,

The print of Magnolia that keeps playing around NYC that I've now seen six different times and can recognize the flickers because a print's an object that changes over time and seeing those flickers reminded me of the nature of film as something that's almost a living creature that breathes with you in the dark,

The projectionist who had to re-adjust Cocktail a bit to get it into focus which was a moment that added to the viewing experience in a good way,

The curtains that closed over the screen and pulled back to make sure we knew we were in for a good time,

The MOMI staff members who were always thoughtful and patient and were able to give me a couple extra copies of the various movie programs and got to know me on sight by the end of July,

The MOMI itself for putting it on,

Everyone who took their tickets home as mementos and souvenirs,

Everyone who crowed somewhere about seeing thirty-five and seventy millimeter prints because even bad movies look fabulous that way and good movies are an absolute joy to behold,

Everyone who'd seen the older works like Risky Business and Born on the Fourth of July and Top Gun when they'd first played in theaters decades ago and were happy to see on a big screen and be lifted up and pushed under again,

Everyone who brought kids to one or both of the Top Gun double features because I know those kids had a fantastic time,

Everyone who laughed,

Everyone who cried,

Everyone who sucked in a breath and held it and let it out as one because we were all feeling the exact same thing in that specific moment,

Everyone who clapped at the end credits,

Everyone who hollered at the director or the cinematographer or the title card whether that came early or late in the individual movie,

Everyone who had firm opinions about which movie theaters in the five boroughs are worth the time and energy it takes to visit them,

Everyone who hung around a while between movies or after the day's programming was over whether it was at the doors or in the courtyard or on the subway platform and let the conversation continue just a few minutes more,

Everyone who I already knew beforehand or recognized after a few screenings and looked forward to seeing because of the pleasure of seeing a movie in shared company,

Everyone who legged it out to Queens to see a beloved movie on the big screen for the first time or possibly the fortieth, traveling by car, train, bus, commercial airline, commuter light rail, crossing state lines and time zones, who brought their own food, who shared their popcorn, who was happy to exchange a few words in the theater or in line waiting for the bathroom as a way to make the waiting easier or just for the pleasure of exchanging a few words about the recently shared experience, everyone who wanted to have a good time at the movies, everyone who spent this last summer together with me like I haven't done since I was a kid and helped make it something worth remembering.

Starting tomorrow morning, my building won't have water for at least 48 hours. This isn't a surprise; I found out about it a couple weeks ago. They're replacing the water tank, which is one of the better reasons for that kind of disruption, and I'm fairly certain it's said to be at least 48 to keep people from getting impatient and disruptive around 2PM on Friday. I've been told Saturday morning at the latest, and I can live with that. Unpleasantly, but I can live with it. I'm filling up water bottles for drinking, a bucket for the toilet, and setting my biggest bowl in the sink for flatware. Figuring out where local bathrooms are and how to at least wipe myself down in my apartment a couple times.

In planning it out, the biggest things seem to be wiping myself down, keeping my hands clean, and brushing my teeth. The usual routines can't be followed and it's making me deeply aware of how I follow them, down to each small step. I'd recommend giving it a shot. Just to be that conscious of it all.

The baby shower had two games: one where you guessed how long various animal pregnancies lasted, and one where you guessed who was who in baby pictures. The second one was supposed to have been done by watching a slideshow, writing guesses down, and then learning who was who.

"Wouldn't it be more fun to shout it out?" I asked.

And the entire rest of the party agreed with me.

Overall, I had a decent time. I arrived early to help set up, which included deciding how to arrange the table for maximum flow throughout the apartment, considering whether the plates and cutlery should be on this side or that based on how people are going to be moving and where the drinks will be. Nobody got in anyone's way, even when the room was crowded, so I take that as a small victory. I had a handful of genuine conversations with people, and the watermelon tonic I brought was a success. There were a few unpleasant moments - someone talking about generative programs as a positive thing, one of the guests not flushing the toilet after they were done in the bathroom - but overall, even with those moments taken into consideration, I'm fairly glad I went.

Leaving for Brooklyn a little early today fully knowing I didn't need to be at the client's house until a little later than usual left me able to walk around a bit and explore the neighborhood. Mostly walking under an elevated subway platform and peeking at the flowers and butterflies in a large fenced-off industrial lot that's largely been left to its own devices for the last few years. I didn't go down to the Gowanus Canal, and any temptation to do so was tossed aside when I realized it smelled like a fertile beach at low tide. Then I decided to savor the smell of a beach at low tide for a while and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I wandered through a nursery and made my way over to a sandwich shop that doubles as a grocery and picked up some spicy jarred peppers, then went across the street and had an ill-advised espresso. I found a used record store that made the hard call to stop at cassette tapes, and spent a little while watching a pair of crows up in an old leafy tree. I don't think I'd want to make the move out there, and moments like crows up a tree make me consider it as a charming fancy.

I've committed myself to the baby shower next week. Unless something comes up, I'm going to be bringing some homemade watermelon shrub. I don't know how many people are attending, but whoever's going to be there had better enjoy the shrub. I offered to make a cake, but my brother J. and his wife E. are going with a store-bought Wegman's cake. I said I could do black raspberry or even parsley, but no dice.

It was fairly remarkable both J. and E. were at the family dinner tonight. I didn't mention anything about it, not even a vague remark, knowing better than to draw attention to it. I didn't mention anything about it being done at my brother R. and his wife G.'s apartment, or that E. plans to bring her A/C unit over and install it there for the afternoon. I know she's starting her third trimester. It still strikes me as indicative of something beyond simple physical ease, because moving it seems a major undertaking.

Of incidental and blogging note regarding A/C units and their logistics, the power in half my apartment was out for about four hours today. Yes, half. The southern half. The northern half with the fridge and computer was fine, but the lights on the other side of the apartment, including the bathroom, were out for a while while the power company did some work on the roof. It was the tidiness of the outage that's staying with me.