A river in the dark.

The topic about building a relationship with my sister in law E. came up again at dinner tonight. It came up at a time when I was a little buzzed from hard cider and wine, which helped considerably. That is, it helped me keep enough distance from anything I might've been feeling to listen to what was being said and hear what was being implied. Yes, I was forceful last week about being astonished E. hadn't ever seen purple or orange cauliflower. I thought I'd been sharing something wonderful about the world. She didn't see it that way and apparently, nobody else at the table did either. But I'm not feeling torn up about it. Honestly, I'm not. My parents and I are all in agreement that it'd be nice if she didn't take her phone out at the table - keep it in her pocket for the comfort of knowing she can call 9-1-1 right then and there, sure, but taking it out and having it around, not so much. If they're unwilling to challenge her on it because the threat is that she won't come, I can understand that. She's the mother of their granddaughter. However, she's the wife of my brother, and it's only because my parents implied they'd rather I not mention it directly to her that I'll keep it to myself. Things of that nature. I explained to them I felt rather slighted, to put it mildly, when she didn't eat the bread I'd baked, and I'd kept that to myself at the time. I knew I didn't know a polite way to ask about it that'd have a chance of getting her to genuinely eat some and I wasn't willing to go for impolite at the time.

Dinners are getting harder. There's less to talk about with my parents, especially when it's just me. But there's no one else.

I'm hoping next week's easier inasmuch as there's going to be someone else around. I don't know about that yet. I don't know about tomorrow, either. Rumor is that my brother J. and his daughter A. might come over, but there's no saying when, not even a vague idea. Possibly afternoon, maybe evening. There's been no forward movement on anyone going to the country. It's looking less and less likely either of my brothers will be there. As such, I probably won't be either. Not for any serious length of time, at any rate. I'd like to find a way to communicate to my parents there's no room for negotiation on my part, not unless they keep to a set of promises made well ahead of time. As those promises would call for a significant change in behavior on their parts, I've got no reason to make any plans.