Unfortunate.

With 20 minutes to spare in the delivery window, the mattress deliverymen arrived. The one who I opened the door to apologized, saying that there wasn't one, which put me in a state of shock severe enough that when I found out he was lying for kicks and the other guy had the mattress out in the hallway, I shot into a state of upset harsh enough that when I saw what they had, I didn't know how to say so sorry, please take it away, I can't use this, leave what I have instead.

I wasn't in a good state when I went to look at the mattresses in the store. I'd known that. I'd wanted it over with and that wasn't a way to genuinely assess what I want in such an object.

For example, I didn't think I wanted something soft, and it turns out I do. Not soft as in something I sink into: soft as in how it feels when I press my hand against it. Soft in the external texture as something completely different from the level of firmness.

And I definitely didn't realize I wanted something much, much shorter than what I have now, which is about eight inches taller than my last one. I have to mountain climb to get onto it, and I'm absolutely furious and seething and in a state close to wanting to chew off my leg. Only close because I've had about ten hours to deal with its presence, but my computer setup is such that it's always been facing away from my bed with my back to it, and today's the first time I actively don't want to turn around and see what's behind me.

Fuck!

There's a 30 day testing policy, after which they can take it back. I'm going to look into options that don't require mountain climbing.