The fortune she lives by.

I went downtown this afternoon, out to the MOMA for a special screening of Jackass Forever. Streets were blocked from car traffic by the police - which struck me as something close to fair, there's a public gathering in that area tonight. My way to the museum, I weaved through and past various barriers, walking in the middle of the streets and having a great time.

Foolishly on my part, I didn't realize the streets were intended to be closed to pedestrian traffic, and on my way back to my apartment after the screening, I tried to get through with the same breeziness as I'd had the first time around. No good: an officer turned me away, and I didn't have it in me to challenge her. Then I saw some other people got to walk past the barrier into the closed street for whatever reason. I turned around, slipped into the crowd, waited for an umbrella to hide my face from the officer who turned me away, and said to the other one there, "I'm with them."

Right on through.

A couple streets over, the corner of the block was cordoned off in addition to the street itself. A corner that was part of a raised courtyard-type area about four steps up from the streets so a fancy hotel could have a fancy fountain. I walked down the block, took that set of stairs, walked around the side of the hotel and down those stairs, fully circumventing the police barrier.

As for the movie screening, it was a delight, start to finish, as I knew it'd be. Any Jackass movie in a crowd is wonderful, and because I knew what was coming, there were quite a few times I skipped out on looking at the screen and checked how the audience was doing. The anguish, the passion, the joy.

Up in the canyons.

Watch on YouTube

In thinking about it - this hasn't been a bad year. Not wholly, not completely. It never is, in totality. I wouldn't necessarily have the impulse to say it was a good year. It's not in my nature, and it had moments which knocked me on my ass and kicked me when I was down, as always happens. Things like family drama, family illnesses, personal injuries, emotional wounds. Stuff that goes beyond "not making a whole lot of progress to secure long-term employment" and "not writing as much as would be satisfying."

And still. I was taking stock, looking back, and thinking that 2022 was simultaneously wonderful. Genuinely wonderful. Voxtrot got back together, and while I couldn't attend their tour, they also released new songs, which was nothing short of miraculous. There was a new Jackass movie, and that old love roared back to life like it'd never left, bringing me back in touch with old friends I'd missed and helping me find new friends I didn't realized I'd known for ages, as happens sometimes in fandom - you're circling around each other around and around and then you both collide, sending out sparks that light your fires. I did get around to doing some writing, figuring out what I wanted to say in an original project and how I wanted to say it, which is usually the bigger struggle. I picked up some old ideas I'd put down a long time ago and this time around, I don't think I'm putting them down.

I went back to California after twelve years. If the exact amount of time was 11 years, 9 months, and 22 days, I might as well round up and say twelve years.

It's been a good year. I don't know how good. And as ever, all I can do is hope that this coming year will be better than the last.