Little deaths.

Shit. I want to start setting things on fire.

A couple of weeks ago I put in an order for these gloves, and they arrived and I got really happy and found a lot of comfort in wearing them, and today I was picking up stuff off my desk and I found one's missing. And I don't know where it could be, since I only wear them in here and I don't put them in drawers or anything, and I'm going to have to start tearing up my room. And I already put in two calls, shit, it doesn't matter - a resident losing things in their room doesn't mean shit to the people running this place, not even if I start hurting myself. They just don't care. And this is a closed system, I don't wear them outside of this room, so if I can't find them in here someone took them, and nobody comes in here but the housekeepers. Shit.

I don't know what I'll do if it's actually lost, and if I find it I'm going to cry and hide them and not wear them for weeks because I'll be that scared I'll lose them again.

Not like anyone cares, ever, but sometimes I just need to scream a bit. It's this or start throwing things.

Fandom-based escapism.

I know peferctly well I should be putting my energy towards cover letters and original projects. Cover letters are where a lot of my productivity goes, and the original projects are starting to marinate nicely. This doesn't include what I fantasize about on long subway rides, or where I go to play when I need to relax.

So the current round-up of fandom projects vying for attention:

There's that one Supernatural AU that's calling for a chromatic recasting of Castiel and the better part of a crash course in anthropology and linguistics. There's that one House thing with the Kinsey scale and the other thing that's a sequel to Uniforming (Made to Seem). There's a Team Fortress 2 thing set in the 'present day' and the other thing that's a futurefic, and both call for more worldbuilding and head-canon making than I'll probably need but that's how I like to roll. The amount of plot varies, none of these seem likely to be less than five thousand words, some of them don't want to go under ten, and a couple would be attempts at things I haven't done yet, or at least explored thoroughly to see how well I can do that sort of thing.

I'll probably go for the TF2 stuff first, since the Supernatural one's pretty shelf-stable at this point and my House DVDs are still in storage and I'll need those to get back some of the voices I'll be using.

I really should start playing the game at some point. This is getting a little embarassing.

Always keep looking.

It was in the laundry basket!

And yes, I danced a bit wearing nothing but the gloves and a smile.