Social intelligences.
May. 21st, 2010 09:42 pmI've rescheduled my work days for the summer semester to the two least-busy days in the lab. Part of this is to give me better access to materials and keep up a regular flow of work through the lab, part of it's because I like being able to spread my stuff out, but a lot of it's that I don't want to work on the same day as some of the other girls. And that's not that they aren't nice people that are also smart and charming; it's because I find it really hard to communicate with them. We both speak English, but we're using different languages. A lot of it comes down to how we approach things. As an example, when we talked about the new Star Trek movie, my reaction to Chris Pine coming up was, "Oh yeah, he was really good in Bottle Shock." For another girl, it was an immediate, "Oh, he's so dreamy!"
For a lot of what they talk about, and in regards to most of their topics, I need to sit down and think about it to understand them. Like marriage and weddings and having boyfriends. A while ago one of the girls talked about how she was lonely without a boyfriend; for context, she's living at home, going to school and work, and has a lot of friends. It took me several hours to puzzle out that she probably meant she wanted someone special and particular in her life to make her feel appreciated in a different way. Hours. When my first reaction is confusion, in a face-to-face situation it's hard for me to remember to step back from the conversation and try to parse it out instead of asking why they're lonely if they have lots of good friends and live with their parents - because at first I don't understand how they can be lonely with that many people in their life. A lot of it makes me feel like I'm back in junior high with all the confusion that goes along with that age.
I really think it's better for everyone that I stay out of their way - at the very least, I understand it's disruptive to a conversation to have to take regular breaks to translate the fundamental philosophies behind the exchanged ideas for a listener's benefit.
For a lot of what they talk about, and in regards to most of their topics, I need to sit down and think about it to understand them. Like marriage and weddings and having boyfriends. A while ago one of the girls talked about how she was lonely without a boyfriend; for context, she's living at home, going to school and work, and has a lot of friends. It took me several hours to puzzle out that she probably meant she wanted someone special and particular in her life to make her feel appreciated in a different way. Hours. When my first reaction is confusion, in a face-to-face situation it's hard for me to remember to step back from the conversation and try to parse it out instead of asking why they're lonely if they have lots of good friends and live with their parents - because at first I don't understand how they can be lonely with that many people in their life. A lot of it makes me feel like I'm back in junior high with all the confusion that goes along with that age.
I really think it's better for everyone that I stay out of their way - at the very least, I understand it's disruptive to a conversation to have to take regular breaks to translate the fundamental philosophies behind the exchanged ideas for a listener's benefit.
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