I'm back from the wedding weekend, and boy are my feet tired.
The ugly: sharing a bathroom with two other people. The upstairs of the house my family rented had the layout of Bedroom 1, Bathroom, Bedroom 2. I was in 2 and my brother and his wife were in 1. 1 connected to the bathroom, and the bathroom connected to 1 and the hallway, with both doors locking from the inside. His wife kept using the bedroom door to enter and exit the bathroom. I knew it was more convenient, especially late at night, and it drove me batty to keep having to lock the bedroom-accessing door because it didn't lock automatically behind her. To make matters worse, at the start of the weekend I figured that if the hall door was closed, and light was visible under the door, it was occupied. So I'd wait, and wait, and then figure that twenty minutes is a long time to be in the bathroom without any sounds...and I knocked, and it was unoccupied.
The bad: Going to a fairly mediocre Mexican restaurant in upstate New York named in the style of English pubs, where someone described a "California Burrito" as tasting like it was made of In-N-Out hamburger meat. The dinner was in a private room with music and low light, and after the music was turned off - at my request - everyone liked being able to hear everyone else clearly, and when the lights were turned up to a typical living room level - also at my request - everyone loved being able to read the menu without using their phone as a flashlight.
Also, not being able to sleep well the first three nights, resulting in me being in no way, shape, or form to enjoy much of anything. Also, the volume of music played at the wedding reception, and the rehearsal dinner the night before. I had to keep going outside to rest my ears.
The good: Swimming in a massive lake with incredibly clean water. Spotting a snake, a toad, many frogs, an osprey, a heron, a couple of feral cats, an owl, a salamander, a newt, and two slugs in flagrante delicto. Encountering a leech, and remembering how to safely remove a leech, and then thinking that an inch-long leech would've been more tolerable than a mosquito because it didn't drone in my ears and wouldn't have left any itchy bumps. Telling people about extinct giant ground sloths. Genuinely having a good time talking to people and making them laugh and hearing them talk animatedly about their passions and their professions. Getting compliments on my dresses and my hair. Learning all over again that taking a walk in the night air for a bit is a good way to re-center myself. Some pretty great sunrises and night skies. Seeing the bride and groom be so happy, and knowing that "happy" is the best look for a wedding party.
Overall, I'm genuinely glad I went. There were a lot of moments I told myself it wasn't about me, and several more where I wondered if I shouldn't have gone because I was having such a hard time and the logic of it being better for me to remove myself from a situation than drag everyone else down is seared deeply into me, and for the most part, largely and in general, I'm happy I was able to go.
The ugly: sharing a bathroom with two other people. The upstairs of the house my family rented had the layout of Bedroom 1, Bathroom, Bedroom 2. I was in 2 and my brother and his wife were in 1. 1 connected to the bathroom, and the bathroom connected to 1 and the hallway, with both doors locking from the inside. His wife kept using the bedroom door to enter and exit the bathroom. I knew it was more convenient, especially late at night, and it drove me batty to keep having to lock the bedroom-accessing door because it didn't lock automatically behind her. To make matters worse, at the start of the weekend I figured that if the hall door was closed, and light was visible under the door, it was occupied. So I'd wait, and wait, and then figure that twenty minutes is a long time to be in the bathroom without any sounds...and I knocked, and it was unoccupied.
The bad: Going to a fairly mediocre Mexican restaurant in upstate New York named in the style of English pubs, where someone described a "California Burrito" as tasting like it was made of In-N-Out hamburger meat. The dinner was in a private room with music and low light, and after the music was turned off - at my request - everyone liked being able to hear everyone else clearly, and when the lights were turned up to a typical living room level - also at my request - everyone loved being able to read the menu without using their phone as a flashlight.
Also, not being able to sleep well the first three nights, resulting in me being in no way, shape, or form to enjoy much of anything. Also, the volume of music played at the wedding reception, and the rehearsal dinner the night before. I had to keep going outside to rest my ears.
The good: Swimming in a massive lake with incredibly clean water. Spotting a snake, a toad, many frogs, an osprey, a heron, a couple of feral cats, an owl, a salamander, a newt, and two slugs in flagrante delicto. Encountering a leech, and remembering how to safely remove a leech, and then thinking that an inch-long leech would've been more tolerable than a mosquito because it didn't drone in my ears and wouldn't have left any itchy bumps. Telling people about extinct giant ground sloths. Genuinely having a good time talking to people and making them laugh and hearing them talk animatedly about their passions and their professions. Getting compliments on my dresses and my hair. Learning all over again that taking a walk in the night air for a bit is a good way to re-center myself. Some pretty great sunrises and night skies. Seeing the bride and groom be so happy, and knowing that "happy" is the best look for a wedding party.
Overall, I'm genuinely glad I went. There were a lot of moments I told myself it wasn't about me, and several more where I wondered if I shouldn't have gone because I was having such a hard time and the logic of it being better for me to remove myself from a situation than drag everyone else down is seared deeply into me, and for the most part, largely and in general, I'm happy I was able to go.
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