Happy Canada Day.

I've been finding myself hungry for the sound of the human voice. Beyond phone calls, or masked conversations: being able to have an intense conversation face to face. Not for any motive beyond the shared experience of the company, for whatever reason that experience is happening. Some weeks ago, I was on a Zoom call with a bunch of other Buffering the Vampire Slayer fans, got good and drunk on tequila and watermelon juice, and commented it was the most faces I'd seen in weeks. It still is, at this point. It's not just the faces so much as it's also the sense of company.

Yesterday I was fingerprinted for a potential US census job. I'll be paid for the training period, which means whether or not they decide to bring me on afterwards isn't a problem at all, because it'll be a little bit of income. Not a lot, but - some. Enough to maybe buy a chicken at the greenmarket and some vegetables to roast with it. Enough to see about some new music, too.

Maybe enough to see another six-minute conversation with James Marsters, which I went into with open eyes about what I was doing for the hunger of connection. I know while there may be a vague glimmer of familiarity there's no friendship, but there was a conversation about his music, and artistic vulnerability, and it felt good to have that.

I may need to talk about this with my therapist.