The California sun cascading down my face.
Jan. 2nd, 2018 08:42 pmDay 2
In your own space, share a favorite memory about fandom: the first time you got into fandom, the last time a fanwork touched your heart, crazy times with fellow fans (whether on-line or off-line), a lovely comment you’ve received or have left for someone. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
I still remember the first time I went to a fandom convention. I mean the very first time, walking into the hotel lobby first time, with almost no idea of what I was doing. I could barely say the name of the convention to the woman at the desk - "B.A.S. Con" because I couldn't even say "slash" out loud to another human face-to-face. But she sent me on my way to where I needed to go. I wasn't even staying for the whole weekend, much less overnight, just Saturday commuting to the location from my dorm room.
I don't really remember the panels. Or the vid show. Who I talked to, or the layout of the hotel. Just impressions of how great and grand it all was. The size of the dealer's room and the depth of what was available. Not being in the big fandoms but still wanting to participate. Pulling the hood of my raincoat down over my face and throwing it back when I had the courage to engage.
I was eighteen, and it was a learning experience in a lot of ways. Not just going to a new place far away on my own, and not just figuring out how to own the fact that I fandom. I wasn't adept when it came to social graces - I'm not sure how much is cringe memory and how much actually happened, but I know I conducted myself like an ass at least a few times - but I wasn't in a position to be ashamed of that failing. I just barreled on ahead without looking back because I wanted to be there so very badly, because I wanted to talk to other fans and just be in the same space as them. I remembered bits and pieces of similar experiences on playgrounds and friend's bedrooms, chatting about comic books and movies, but I knew this would be different. This would be serious. This wasn't just being a fan, this was fandom. This was saying things out loud without being weird. This was knowing we were all there for the same reason, and that inherent assumption in the socializing cut through a lot of my ineptness - not all, but enough - to keep me thrilled the whole day long and to push me forward to come back the following year.
I haven't gotten that same rush of hope and fear as that very first time. I've been to more cons, and I've learned how to behave and conduct myself decorously. Walking into that lobby isn't my favorite fandom memory, but it's one I'm deeply fond of.
In your own space, share a favorite memory about fandom: the first time you got into fandom, the last time a fanwork touched your heart, crazy times with fellow fans (whether on-line or off-line), a lovely comment you’ve received or have left for someone. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.
I still remember the first time I went to a fandom convention. I mean the very first time, walking into the hotel lobby first time, with almost no idea of what I was doing. I could barely say the name of the convention to the woman at the desk - "B.A.S. Con" because I couldn't even say "slash" out loud to another human face-to-face. But she sent me on my way to where I needed to go. I wasn't even staying for the whole weekend, much less overnight, just Saturday commuting to the location from my dorm room.
I don't really remember the panels. Or the vid show. Who I talked to, or the layout of the hotel. Just impressions of how great and grand it all was. The size of the dealer's room and the depth of what was available. Not being in the big fandoms but still wanting to participate. Pulling the hood of my raincoat down over my face and throwing it back when I had the courage to engage.
I was eighteen, and it was a learning experience in a lot of ways. Not just going to a new place far away on my own, and not just figuring out how to own the fact that I fandom. I wasn't adept when it came to social graces - I'm not sure how much is cringe memory and how much actually happened, but I know I conducted myself like an ass at least a few times - but I wasn't in a position to be ashamed of that failing. I just barreled on ahead without looking back because I wanted to be there so very badly, because I wanted to talk to other fans and just be in the same space as them. I remembered bits and pieces of similar experiences on playgrounds and friend's bedrooms, chatting about comic books and movies, but I knew this would be different. This would be serious. This wasn't just being a fan, this was fandom. This was saying things out loud without being weird. This was knowing we were all there for the same reason, and that inherent assumption in the socializing cut through a lot of my ineptness - not all, but enough - to keep me thrilled the whole day long and to push me forward to come back the following year.
I haven't gotten that same rush of hope and fear as that very first time. I've been to more cons, and I've learned how to behave and conduct myself decorously. Walking into that lobby isn't my favorite fandom memory, but it's one I'm deeply fond of.
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