Grown to outlive.
Feb. 25th, 2011 11:15 pmMy birthday's in two weeks. I think I need more caffeine before I can be excited about it.
I thought about putting a wishlist together and stopped when I realized the biggest thing that I want - a job - isn't something I can get by asking my friendslist, and I'll probably reach another year around the sun without one. Then I spent some time walking past Central Park and thinking about the fact that landing a job is itself one of the longest projects I've been attached to, and it's not something that I can get as a gift and that I should treat this afternoon as a doldrum and try to get the wind back in my sails this Sunday. Once again, an existentialist crises was thwarted by going outside and taking a walk.
That said, there are a bunch of things I'd like that I can't get for myself - writing time, for example, is a matter of settling in and just going at it. So just in case, here's the list.
1. A hotline. A professional one, someone's cell or landline, whatever. I want a number I can call when I'm having one of my bad nights so I can move out of it with someone's help without resorting to self-directed violence where I know I can call anytime because I've been told it's all right for me to do so.
2. A gift certificate for SockDreams, because you can never have too many socks.
3. A gift certificate for Amazon.com, because even though I don't have space to get many more physical objects I can still collect digital content.
4. Meetups in New York. Look, I know you fuckers know people in the city, I know people in the city read this space, I'm ready and willing to spend time with other humans in the same physical space. Even just the name of someone to contact would be good, and it'd take maybe thirty-eight seconds to copy someone's username. Come ON.
5. I'm not kidding about the meetup thing. I know people don't always share the same schedule and coordinating free time is tricky at best, but seriously, I need to meet more people I can have conversations with. People I can see more than once because it's not a random encounter that happens when we're both waiting for something.
6. Or the hotline. I'm sure you've heard of something.
7. Fic for me! Because it never gets old to see my name in the dedication for something. Sequels and remixes and explorations of stuff I've done is all fair game, and superpowers make everything better, especially when they're a pain in the ass.
8. Fanart for me! Because it brings me so much delight to be able to look at something I wrote about.
9. A Battlestar Galactica Baltar/Six vid to Neko Case's "This Tornado Loves You." Or a Doctor Who vid of Doctors One through Eleven to The Divine Comedy's "Gin-Soaked Boy."
10. Recommendations for where I can get a blue dress in something like a vintage style, and something where I can learn the right vocabulary to ask for what I want in a dress. I like wearing dresses and I've wanted a blue one for a while now, but I don't know the basic vocabulary of the industry to be able to say something more specific than "a dress with sleeves and a waist that goes at least to my knees." Maybe there's a term for that I just haven't learned, and if that's the case, it'd make going into stores a lot easier.
I thought about putting a wishlist together and stopped when I realized the biggest thing that I want - a job - isn't something I can get by asking my friendslist, and I'll probably reach another year around the sun without one. Then I spent some time walking past Central Park and thinking about the fact that landing a job is itself one of the longest projects I've been attached to, and it's not something that I can get as a gift and that I should treat this afternoon as a doldrum and try to get the wind back in my sails this Sunday. Once again, an existentialist crises was thwarted by going outside and taking a walk.
That said, there are a bunch of things I'd like that I can't get for myself - writing time, for example, is a matter of settling in and just going at it. So just in case, here's the list.
1. A hotline. A professional one, someone's cell or landline, whatever. I want a number I can call when I'm having one of my bad nights so I can move out of it with someone's help without resorting to self-directed violence where I know I can call anytime because I've been told it's all right for me to do so.
2. A gift certificate for SockDreams, because you can never have too many socks.
3. A gift certificate for Amazon.com, because even though I don't have space to get many more physical objects I can still collect digital content.
4. Meetups in New York. Look, I know you fuckers know people in the city, I know people in the city read this space, I'm ready and willing to spend time with other humans in the same physical space. Even just the name of someone to contact would be good, and it'd take maybe thirty-eight seconds to copy someone's username. Come ON.
5. I'm not kidding about the meetup thing. I know people don't always share the same schedule and coordinating free time is tricky at best, but seriously, I need to meet more people I can have conversations with. People I can see more than once because it's not a random encounter that happens when we're both waiting for something.
6. Or the hotline. I'm sure you've heard of something.
7. Fic for me! Because it never gets old to see my name in the dedication for something. Sequels and remixes and explorations of stuff I've done is all fair game, and superpowers make everything better, especially when they're a pain in the ass.
8. Fanart for me! Because it brings me so much delight to be able to look at something I wrote about.
9. A Battlestar Galactica Baltar/Six vid to Neko Case's "This Tornado Loves You." Or a Doctor Who vid of Doctors One through Eleven to The Divine Comedy's "Gin-Soaked Boy."
10. Recommendations for where I can get a blue dress in something like a vintage style, and something where I can learn the right vocabulary to ask for what I want in a dress. I like wearing dresses and I've wanted a blue one for a while now, but I don't know the basic vocabulary of the industry to be able to say something more specific than "a dress with sleeves and a waist that goes at least to my knees." Maybe there's a term for that I just haven't learned, and if that's the case, it'd make going into stores a lot easier.
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