Because it needs to be shared.

This is of interest to about three people, one of whom already knows about it. Anyway.

First, a primer on Burn Notice, which you should go look at because it makes some of the best convincing arguments to watch the show by just summarizing what it's about and what's on it, like the numerous explosions, rampant cell phone abuse, and the main character's love of yogurt.

Second, the teaser trailer for Portal 2.

Third: "My name is Michael Weston, and I used to be a test subject."

As ayalesca and I figured out:

Michael = Chell
Management = GLADOS
Fiona = Portal Gun ("I call her ... Fiona.")*
Sam = Companion Cube*
Maddie = Turrets ("MICHAEL. I SEE YOU.")

* = invertible as wished

"At the end, there will be cake. And you will be reinstated into Aperture Science."

The world needs this fic in it. Seriously. For the betterment of humanity as a whole...and for science.