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Passions abide.
Doing errands helped keep today from feeling like a birthday. There wasn't anything big on my end to signify it, not even going out and buying books or just taking a walk. I didn't sleep well at all last night - after about an hour and a half of trying even after taking two Advil PM I was so frustrated and upset I ended up going on a small crying jag, and with DST, I ended up starting the day around eleven. And that never helps me feel present or aware, and it being a birthday just made everything somewhat unreal. There was a low point in the afternoon when I talked to my dad about French lessons and where I could take them, and I don't know how to tell him I've had enough of college classrooms to last me for the rest of my life, and much as I want to learn the language I want to do it someplace where I know everyone else wants to at least as much as I do, not just to fill a core requirement.
Even without ice cream, though, it's been a good day. Not just for doing all the errands or being able to skip off job work for a night and not feeling bad about getting another thousand words done instead. I had a goose egg for breakfast and managed to save and clean the shell. The stew came out fantastic, and I'd like to make it again and use some other meat next time - since it calls for hare, goat might work even better than chicken. My brother came over and shared it, and we split a cream soda for dessert. The gym went well, and I lifted a little more today than I did last week. All my laundry's done, even the hand-washing stuff, and the feeling of having my space in order is deeply satisfying. Sometimes I go and sit on the floor and don't move because I'm unhappy, but other times I do it just to be in the center of the apartment and enjoy how I've got everything organized around me. Today was one of the days for the latter.
The cornbread from last night is delicious, and most of it went with my older brother this morning when he went back to school. Not only did it make the bus ride easier, but he had it for dinner, too, with a bit of olive oil. There were some lovely well-wishes from the Internet - I need to say thank you to all of them one at a time!
And tomorrow I go to the market, and cook, and keep on with the job hunt, and just keep on going. And that's really all there is to it.
Even without ice cream, though, it's been a good day. Not just for doing all the errands or being able to skip off job work for a night and not feeling bad about getting another thousand words done instead. I had a goose egg for breakfast and managed to save and clean the shell. The stew came out fantastic, and I'd like to make it again and use some other meat next time - since it calls for hare, goat might work even better than chicken. My brother came over and shared it, and we split a cream soda for dessert. The gym went well, and I lifted a little more today than I did last week. All my laundry's done, even the hand-washing stuff, and the feeling of having my space in order is deeply satisfying. Sometimes I go and sit on the floor and don't move because I'm unhappy, but other times I do it just to be in the center of the apartment and enjoy how I've got everything organized around me. Today was one of the days for the latter.
The cornbread from last night is delicious, and most of it went with my older brother this morning when he went back to school. Not only did it make the bus ride easier, but he had it for dinner, too, with a bit of olive oil. There were some lovely well-wishes from the Internet - I need to say thank you to all of them one at a time!
And tomorrow I go to the market, and cook, and keep on with the job hunt, and just keep on going. And that's really all there is to it.