Empty head.

[hannah]

After a walk around the convention center's neighborhood and a bit of thinking, I'm doing better about this convention. Not great, but better.

There's a feeling that I have to be doing something, that I must be passionate, that I need to feel this utmost concern about libraries, and I don't. I know I made a mistake with this whole idea, but all I can do with it is fix it as best I can. I very much want to sit down with an ALA Ambassador and have a serious career-day style talk which I don't think I've ever had, really. And that's the problem when the ideal profession of "writer" isn't on any career planning literature but a large number of day jobs are. I can be happy working in a library, but I've got no real love for the work the way the rest of the people here seem to. And that's not really good for my general mental well-being, given the meltdown I had in the convention center this morning. Crying and everything. And I don't think I can say this to the people here, because...well, they have that spark for library work that I don't.

And I really do want help right now, but it's easy to get myself into that mindset of "it'll never come". And I need to fix that. And I need help fixing it, but...yeah.

Comments

[lizzie-omalley.livejournal.com]

I wonder how many of the people who are wandering around claiming to love the field are all foam and no beer. There are, of course, a lot of genuine people, but there are also a lot of people who go around saying what they think is the "right thing".

I think the plan to find an ambassador and ask them for advice is a good one. The ability to be happy in a day job while one develops and perfects a craft is no small thing. Many people do not achieve even that. Don't underestimate that quality.

[insptr-penguin.livejournal.com]

Librarians are good at being excited about things. I'd wager that many are as more more abuzz over the break from the routine as they are about their profession.

Despite librarians' propensity for enthusiasm,library science doesn't lend itself to passion the way some other professions do. And that's ok. It's still possible to be interested in and immersed in it in a satisfying way without a burning passion. You'll run into people who have excitement coming out of their ears and you'll run into others who are just doing a job and doing it well with a sincere engagement in the field even, but have many other facets to their lives.

You mention writing as an interest. Librarianship tends to consume less of your life than medical, legal, academic, etc. jobs which could give you more time to pursue that interest. Your engagement with the written word in writing or reading would only complement your work in a library. The field is full of Renaissance people.

[insptr-penguin.livejournal.com]

That second sentence should read "I'd wager that many are more abuzz over the break from the routine than they are about their profession."