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Empty head.
After a walk around the convention center's neighborhood and a bit of thinking, I'm doing better about this convention. Not great, but better.
There's a feeling that I have to be doing something, that I must be passionate, that I need to feel this utmost concern about libraries, and I don't. I know I made a mistake with this whole idea, but all I can do with it is fix it as best I can. I very much want to sit down with an ALA Ambassador and have a serious career-day style talk which I don't think I've ever had, really. And that's the problem when the ideal profession of "writer" isn't on any career planning literature but a large number of day jobs are. I can be happy working in a library, but I've got no real love for the work the way the rest of the people here seem to. And that's not really good for my general mental well-being, given the meltdown I had in the convention center this morning. Crying and everything. And I don't think I can say this to the people here, because...well, they have that spark for library work that I don't.
And I really do want help right now, but it's easy to get myself into that mindset of "it'll never come". And I need to fix that. And I need help fixing it, but...yeah.
There's a feeling that I have to be doing something, that I must be passionate, that I need to feel this utmost concern about libraries, and I don't. I know I made a mistake with this whole idea, but all I can do with it is fix it as best I can. I very much want to sit down with an ALA Ambassador and have a serious career-day style talk which I don't think I've ever had, really. And that's the problem when the ideal profession of "writer" isn't on any career planning literature but a large number of day jobs are. I can be happy working in a library, but I've got no real love for the work the way the rest of the people here seem to. And that's not really good for my general mental well-being, given the meltdown I had in the convention center this morning. Crying and everything. And I don't think I can say this to the people here, because...well, they have that spark for library work that I don't.
And I really do want help right now, but it's easy to get myself into that mindset of "it'll never come". And I need to fix that. And I need help fixing it, but...yeah.