hannah | Wednesday night.

I want to leave my room for a few hours and come back to find someone's miraculously packed it up, down to the glass ornament hanging in the window. I know this won't be the case, so I have to keep going with everything. It should all fit in a couple of small boxes, but the feeling of having to do it for lots and lots of small objects that need to be wrapped up is starting to tire me out.

I don't like this feeling of not being able to look forward and see something. There's one semester left, and following that there isn't anything definite. There's also a bit of a weird feeling around the fact that my parents know where they're going, plus they traveled a bit, and that my older brother's going somewhere and will travel some this summer, and my younger brother's got a lot more time left to find something. It's a mix of feeling like I'm stuck and can't go anywhere, and also that I've got no place to go. So it's not something I really know how to deal with. And my room's messy from trying to move everything into boxes so nothing's where it's supposed to be, so I'm getting pretty uncomfortable looking at the bare walls and shelves. This isn't going to end well.

I'm going to go make some tea and try to clean off my bed so I can get to sleep.