Some new scene.

[hannah]

In trying to get a new bed, I've learned that in addition to the frame, I need a new mattress as well.

I'd no idea mattresses came with so much stuff now.

This problem is worsened by my inability to communicate to mattress store staff - if I say that I'm lying down and create an impression on the bed because of how gravity works, and I move, the indentation I'll have created will make me uncomfortable. To which they said something about me not moving around while I'm sleeping. I tried to explain it'd be while I was awake, but that didn't clarify matters any.

I'd sit on the edges and the ones that were too soft I discounted right away, and I didn't much like the ones that I'd sink into or that were marketed with lots of extra features. I especially didn't like that a lot of them came with a built-in pillow layer on top. I tried most of the ones available at the two major mattress stores in my neighborhood, and then last night, when I was in bed and reading, I pressed down on the one I was sitting on, and nearly started bawling because none of the ones I'd tried managed to replicate the feeling of the one I've had for so long.

At one of the stores, one of the salesmen pointed out that because people were trying them all the time, the mattresses felt like how they'd feel if you'd been using them for several months. I pointed out they should lead with that sales pitch, or at least include it much earlier, but I doubt they'll incorporate it.

Most likely, I'll scrape through old Ikea catalogs and try to find the specs for the one I have now, and try to work from there. In the meantime, it's going to be hard to get comfortable.

Comments

[raine]

As you might have already figured out, sitting on the edge of a new-ish mattress isn't the same as sleeping in one. It sounds like what you want is a bed that springs back more readily. Traditional coil mattresses tend to retain body shape longer than a memory foam mattress, but a memory foam mattress reacts to body heat (which is how it works). If you don't like the feeling of sinking into a giant pillow (which is what pillow tops tend to do), then might I suggest either a memory foam mattress or a hybrid, which has memory foam on top and coils underneath?

[greenstorm]

Oh how interesting! I was going to say it might be best to avoid memory foam because my own memory foam mattress slowly creates an indentation around my body as it heats up and that indentation tends to be pretty robust and remain after I've moved out of it for a couple minutes, as opposed to my spring mattress which bounces back the second I don't have weight on it anymore. My spring mattress is pillow-top though, so there is a fairly significant indentation when I'm laying down, it just follows my body instantly as I move.

I was going to suggest something like a firm latex mattress but I don't have much experience with them, I like being surrounded by my bed instead of on top of it and they do not do that.

Re: memory foam

[raine]

It depends on the resiliency of the memory foam, I suspect. Higher-end memory foam might be more engineered to not create a lasting indent.
There's a really good comparison chart here:
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/mattress-information/foam-versus-spring-mattresses

[hannah]

I want a bed I can comfortably lie on top of, and that means memory foam is right out. Categorically and entirely.

[yourlibrarian]

Beds are tough as we spend so much time in them. It's stressful trying to make the right choice. I'm relatively happy with my bed but if I had to do it over I would go softer. I've only changed beds 4 times in my life so it's a long-lasting change.

[hannah]

I'm beginning to regret the choices I made which have brought me here.

[herself_nyc]

I was just reading about choosing the right mattress in NY Times Wirecutter.

You need to bring your pillow to the shop and lie on the mattress for at least 10 minutes in the position you usually sleep in, according to them.

Also, memory foam is definitely not all created equal. It's worth it to get Tempur-pedic brand if that's what you want. Cheaper ones don't do what memory foam is meant to do.

[hannah]

I want a bed I can comfortably lie on top of, and that means memory foam is right out. Categorically and entirely.

[herself_nyc]

That’s good to know. But the first part of the advice holds.

Wirecutter writers are on strike now or else I’d send you the link.

[chibifukurou]

I'm by no means an expert but recently went through the song and dance of trying to get a mattress with a latex and chemical sensativity. I've been very very happy with this one. Its non memory foam so you dont get any dents but it is on the firm side.
https://www.mygreenmattress.com/latex-free-mattresses/pure-echo/

[hannah]

GOOD. I don't want to sleep on memory foam.