hannah: (Luke Skywalker - elefwin)
hannah ([personal profile] hannah) wrote2021-05-14 02:49 pm

Come and find your kind.

It's been 59 weeks - about 14 months - since my last Friday night dinner at my parents' place. Since my last family Shabbat dinner. It's been about 14 months of pretty much doing it on my own. Lighting the candles and saying the blessings myself. I haven't been singing the songs, since there's been no one to sing with. I've been taking the moments with the candles, the silence after washing my hands, to think about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. That this is my culture, my traditions. This is what's done because it's what's done. That's what it is. It's why it's here: to be done.

This week, it's to be done with my parents again. This week, it's safe to sing the songs together.

Last year, it threw me and threw me hard when I thought about doing it alone for so long. I took what comfort I could in knowing you can't have a crisis of faith without faith, or fear the loss of identity without ties to that identity. This year, now, again, I can come back to what was lost. Springtime to springtime - week in, week out. And the world continues on.
petra: Barbara Gordon smiling knowingly (Default)

[personal profile] petra 2021-05-14 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Shabbat shalom, dear heart.
raven: [hello my name is] and a silhouette image of a raven (Default)

[personal profile] raven 2021-05-14 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
<3 <3 I'm glad for you.
princessofgeeks: Shane smiling, caption Canada's Shane Hollander (Default)

[personal profile] princessofgeeks 2021-05-14 08:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I am so happy for you.
lizzie_omalley: (Default)

[personal profile] lizzie_omalley 2021-05-14 08:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Enjoy your dinner!

And also, THIS! Perceptive, and powerful!

Last year, it threw me and threw me hard when I thought about doing it alone for so long. I took what comfort I could in knowing you can't have a crisis of faith without faith, or fear the loss of identity without ties to that identity. This year, now, again, I can come back to what was lost. Springtime to springtime - week in, week out. And the world continues on.
teragramm: (Default)

[personal profile] teragramm 2021-05-14 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
So glad that you could finally have Shabbat dinner with your family. Enjoy.
akamarykate: (Default)

[personal profile] akamarykate 2021-05-14 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
How lovely to think of singing together again. Enjoy!
laurajv: Holmes & Watson's car is as cool as Batman's (Default)

[personal profile] laurajv 2021-05-15 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
obviously I am not glad you had to miss your parents for all that time! but i am glad you were able to find meaning in having to do it alone, and very glad you can see your parents again now. shabbat shalom
rosefox: Two small glass candleholders with a green and blue tree design cast a tree-shaped shadow. (Shabbat)

[personal profile] rosefox 2021-05-15 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
Shabbat shalom! I'm so, so glad for you.
duskpeterson: The lowercased letters D and P, joined together (Default)

[personal profile] duskpeterson 2021-05-16 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
How lovely that you can have a family Shabbat dinner again.