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General update.
That which happened on Sunday is nearly sorted out, hopefully by dinnertime tomorrow. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, largely through the help of others who explained my actions and reassured the third party what I'd meant by them, which was no harm - in turn creating its own kind of issues inside my head, namely, that if I have to be this reliant on others for unanticipated advocacy, what hope have I got in situations where there's no such person to act that part?
The initial personal archivist/genealogist session happened last Thursday, about two hours of listening to a 92-year-old woman discuss her history and attempting to get down a clear idea of what she wanted and what she had to work with. She had a little bit of preliminary work on the genealogy aspect, and I was curious if she had any family records beyond a couple of photo albums. I tried to be professional in the mode of my other jobs - what have you got? What do you need? Let me know what you want me to do, let's try to figure this out together, let me write all this down for later, let me be certain what you're saying and what you mean.
At the time, I thought that simply not asking her any personal questions and sticking to the job itself would be a good thing.
In retrospect, treating a private client's job like a doctor's office records' room probably wasn't that great an idea.
My curiosity translated as intrusiveness, and she expressed this to the people who'd put us in touch with each other. This got shared with me Sunday afternoon, and it sent me into a depressive mode for the next couple of days. The rest of the week, really. The knowledge of "I fucked up" looming heavy over and around me.
But the people who'd put us in touch did their best to explain my motivations for asking, and assure them I wasn't trying to be malicious, simply curious and thorough. Even so, the looming worry didn't go away as soon as I found this out. While I'll be back in touch with this woman next week to see how and when she wants to go forward - it's that feeling of not knowing how I should behave, and of a new perception of the need for others to argue on my behalf when I don't have opportunity or permission to explain my own behaviors, and of wondering what to do next, and still not having a clear idea of the scope and scale of the project.
Tomorrow I'm meeting with the people who put me in touch with the client, so any lingering worries should be addressed then. I've yet to call her. I'm waiting until after tomorrow's lunchtime meeting.
Thankfully, I have therapy first.
The initial personal archivist/genealogist session happened last Thursday, about two hours of listening to a 92-year-old woman discuss her history and attempting to get down a clear idea of what she wanted and what she had to work with. She had a little bit of preliminary work on the genealogy aspect, and I was curious if she had any family records beyond a couple of photo albums. I tried to be professional in the mode of my other jobs - what have you got? What do you need? Let me know what you want me to do, let's try to figure this out together, let me write all this down for later, let me be certain what you're saying and what you mean.
At the time, I thought that simply not asking her any personal questions and sticking to the job itself would be a good thing.
In retrospect, treating a private client's job like a doctor's office records' room probably wasn't that great an idea.
My curiosity translated as intrusiveness, and she expressed this to the people who'd put us in touch with each other. This got shared with me Sunday afternoon, and it sent me into a depressive mode for the next couple of days. The rest of the week, really. The knowledge of "I fucked up" looming heavy over and around me.
But the people who'd put us in touch did their best to explain my motivations for asking, and assure them I wasn't trying to be malicious, simply curious and thorough. Even so, the looming worry didn't go away as soon as I found this out. While I'll be back in touch with this woman next week to see how and when she wants to go forward - it's that feeling of not knowing how I should behave, and of a new perception of the need for others to argue on my behalf when I don't have opportunity or permission to explain my own behaviors, and of wondering what to do next, and still not having a clear idea of the scope and scale of the project.
Tomorrow I'm meeting with the people who put me in touch with the client, so any lingering worries should be addressed then. I've yet to call her. I'm waiting until after tomorrow's lunchtime meeting.
Thankfully, I have therapy first.
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I myself am having to figure out how to talk to someone at my school about an ask regarding adjusting the way a program we are required to use works. The response I got from the PhD student who is at least 25 years my junior leaves me feeling talked down to and condescended to. I don't think that was her intent and she managed to be condescending anyway.
It is always a challenge. I wish you luck.
If there is something I can do, let me know.
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