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No one has won.
When I left work around two-thirty in the afternoon, it was gorgeous and hot, barely any breeze, plenty of blue in the sky and no humidity I could feel. It reminded me of home, and I had to smile over how nice it was to be outside. Much later in the day, in a forced effort to get out of the house between loads of laundry, I went to a nearby Starbucks, used a mildly unethical gift coupon to get a peppermint-hazelnut iced drink, and read a bit of How Much For Just The Planet? which really should be put back into print. On the walk back to the house I took a slightly different route than normal, going down a sidestreet that happens to have a small school soccer field tucked aside - which was hosting four rabbits casually eating their way through the clover and enjoying the weather, and I took their cue and sat a bit and watched them as they munched and lounged.
It's been a long day, not just for it being late but also for having more trouble than usual falling asleep last night and also for the other people's choice of music back at work. Thank God I brought my MP3 player with me and could blast Cowboy Mouth in the privacy of my own head. The major intellectual challenge comes in recognizing I hold the minority opinion in the group, shouldn't press my views upon others, and shouldn't begrudge them a good time, and having to force myself into silence about a subject over which I really, really want to voice an opinion and get some control over a situation pushing me down the slippery slope into crying in the lab at the end of the day while there were still people there. If today happens again, as strongly as it did, I don't know if I'll make it through the week. Which sucks, since I really do want to go in and work on some books. But not with things like that around.
A hot shower should help put matters right, and I'll be sure to charge batteries through the night to make sure there's more than three hours' of music playing for me. In the meantime, it's back to wondering which and how many pills to use to get to sleep tonight.
It's been a long day, not just for it being late but also for having more trouble than usual falling asleep last night and also for the other people's choice of music back at work. Thank God I brought my MP3 player with me and could blast Cowboy Mouth in the privacy of my own head. The major intellectual challenge comes in recognizing I hold the minority opinion in the group, shouldn't press my views upon others, and shouldn't begrudge them a good time, and having to force myself into silence about a subject over which I really, really want to voice an opinion and get some control over a situation pushing me down the slippery slope into crying in the lab at the end of the day while there were still people there. If today happens again, as strongly as it did, I don't know if I'll make it through the week. Which sucks, since I really do want to go in and work on some books. But not with things like that around.
A hot shower should help put matters right, and I'll be sure to charge batteries through the night to make sure there's more than three hours' of music playing for me. In the meantime, it's back to wondering which and how many pills to use to get to sleep tonight.