Easy breathing.

[hannah]

Last night, I grated some horseradish from a root I'd gotten a couple of weeks ago. It was okay. It tastes fine, and that was all. Not scour-your-mouth-clean, though. Not quite potent enough to make up for the struggles of a pandemic Seder.

So this morning, I got a fresh root at the market. Picked within the last three days from about eighty miles away. Fresh as I could get it.

I kept making Monty Python dying noises and Wilhelm Screams as I grated it - "Aarrrgh!" "Aaaugh!" "Aaaaaghhh!" I kept having to stop to catch breaths of fresh air. I cried out to the uncaring heavens and petra over chat, "THIS DOES NOT WANT TO BE EATEN."

And my sinuses are clear enough I can practically smell into next week.

Now that's horseradish.

Comments

[jadelennox]

That sounds delicious.

My fresh horseradish was the only thing that didn't come in my delivery order, which is fine, because I adore the purple chrain, but still sad. But here's my fresh horseradish story: in seventh grade I "dated" a boy from the Other Jewish Day School. "Dated," because I mean we met at an intra-Jewish day school dance, awkwardly swayed hands-to-shoulder and hands-to-hips a few times, then my parents brought me across town to his house and we played monopoly and watched a Woody Allen Movie (😳), then my parents decided that he lived too far away. It was probably hilariously awkward from outside. But he came to our Seder, and my dad had just stuck the whole root in the blender.

"What's that?" asked Boy from the Other Jewish Day School.

"Here, smell it," replies my wiseass dad without answering, and hands over the blender.

BftOJD sticks his entire face in the opening of the blender and takes a bid whiff, then starts coughing and wheezing so hard his face turns an amazing shade of purple.

My father then laughs so had he turns an amazing shade or purple, and he also tells that story every Pesach for the rest of his life.

Dads, man. Also, horseradish.

[thenewbuzwuzz]

Nice!

[duskpeterson]

:)

[pwcorgigirl]

You have to wonder about the brave and desperate soul who first dug up a horseradish root, said "I SHALL NOT STARVE" and bit off a hunk. And lived to tell the tale! :-D

[hannah]

What good is fresh horseradish if not fodder for that kind of story? One year I bought a fresh root my mom didn't have time to grate, just slice thin...and my dad popped an entire piece in his mouth thinking it was apple.

[hannah]

It was an experience, all right.

[hannah]

^_^

[hannah]

By the end of the night, I was putting it on just about everything - eggs, matzah, salads. It's intoxicating after a while. That rich, intense experience.

[pwcorgigirl]

You are a much stronger person than I am. :-D I just can't do horseradish, even the adulterated stuff in jars.